I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
