On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
