Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
