My liver just broke up with me...
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
