My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize