I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
