Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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