You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
