I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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