nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
