Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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