Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
