biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
