Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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