It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
