I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
