Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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