Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
