i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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