No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
