do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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