She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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