I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize