God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
