bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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