Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
