its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize