new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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