so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
