My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
