I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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