Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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