I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
