its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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