FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
