Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
