I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
