no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
