If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
