you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
