yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
