Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
