Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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