butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
