if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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