The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up under a house in Key West
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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