I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
