now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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