My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
