Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
