Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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