I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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