I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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