Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
