mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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