I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize