Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
