Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
