lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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