Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I didn't notice because vodka
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize