I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
