Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize