oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
