just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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